1) Document all incidences, no matter how small.
Over time you can look back at the dates and times and
see clearly if any negative interaction is taking place. Then
work out if it's ongoing bullying or just a once off... where
a kid was trying to exert their authority by climbing the
social ladder through tearing another child down.
2) Keep the teacher alert to any peer that has taken
to focusing on your child for their own entertainment.
Look, our kids are reactive, they are easy entertainment
for other children (who in MY eyes need social skills, not
our kids). So make sure she/he (teacher) is aware of the
behaviour that may be negative towards your child.
3) Teach your child the negative and malicious ways
others can interact with each other.
Teach them the sarcasm, and teach them about others using
others. Teach them about the social structure in this society -
where the more someone runs down another, the more
socially acceptable they will be.
4) Teach your child how not to take on the issues of
others.
Really, speak bluntly; tell them that others have big issues in
their lives; lack of social skills, lack of compassion and lack
of kindness. They may have bad environments at home and
so are trying to 'survive' with the skills or lack there of, that
they have been bought up on. This takes the ownership off
your child, it shows them that many people have issues and
we all react differently to these issues. Some positively,
some negatively.
5) Give them some good come backs.
One liners (not swearing or rude) but rather direct and factual
that will slow down the 'bully' and make them think. While
your child gets to walk away with their dignity intact.
6) Teach your child how to keep their power.
This is the biggest thing in our home. Our son was just so
reactive that the educators/adults would focus purely his
behaviour and not on the 'why' behind his reactions. So he
was always removed, always punished while the other so
called 'normal' kids got to walk to their class and hang around
each other!
This takes time to learn so be patient and just keep repeating
the same statement so it becomes a rote type learning for the
child and eventually they will learn not to carry other people's
issues on their backs and in their souls.
7) Always advocate for your child.
You may find that the adults may act like you are being really
annoying, you know 'one of those parent's' - but don't fall for it.
You are not there to make friends, you are there to make sure
your child does not get to many internal scars; your focus is
purely on helping your child not to make sure the adults don't
get uncomfortable.
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